


Far Away

by Lavendertwilight89



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Post-Canon, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26177242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavendertwilight89/pseuds/Lavendertwilight89
Summary: Three years has passed since Kagome was taken to her side of the well by force. She has finally returned but the three years have changed her and she fears what means for her and Inuyasha's relationship.****Nominated for the 2021 1st Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards, run by FeudalConnection - the category Best Romance and Best Canon****
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Miroku/Sango (InuYasha)
Comments: 73
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No smoots this time friends--maybe in another chapter? But this piece was a little more on the emotional side and I didn't feel it be appropriate with the emotions.

It was a long day after Kagome had emerged from the well. After Inuyasha and her embraced, they were almost immediately interrupted. The only words between them were them asking if she had kept him waiting and him asking what she had been doing during the time they were apart…

When they pulled apart, he wore a soft smile of contentment. He hadn’t complained or even shown embarrassment from their disruption. She found him at her side after she had run off to greet everyone. He was a silent shadow as they journeyed into the village with the others. 

Once they reached their town, everyone had to talk to her. EVERYONE. It was crazy! Not that she didn’t want to see her friends, their kids, Kaede, even Rin… But her mind was utterly consumed by the half-demon who pulled her up and out of the well. She had so much to say--so much to ask… even so many desires to be fulfilled.

His presence never left her; that at least helped her a little bit as they walked through the village together. He likely wanted to talk to her too. After all, it had been three long years since they had seen each other. Maybe he had things to say as well.

They met more strangers on their walk through the village. People Kagome probably should have paid more attention to--but the hanyou was like a drug. She couldn’t get enough of him. Even though she could sense his youki, actually feel him by her, she couldn’t help but check to make sure he was still standing there. That it wasn’t a dream--that he, in fact, was physically present. Her hand often found his, to make sure this wasn’t some weird delirious psychotic break. That he was tangible and very real. She thanked all the Gods when his hand brushed and caressed against hers, sometimes even blessing her when their fingers would intertwine in return.

After the long afternoon of greeting people, saying hello to new and old faces, they found themselves sitting in Kaede’s hut, just like last night before her middle school graduation; she felt pure nostalgia. It was just like old times. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kaede, and Inuyasha along with Rin and of course the twin girls and baby boy. While the feeling of the familiarity comforted her, she was also hurt--their lives had kept on going. It wasn’t like when she would go into the well to restock on supplies for their travels or if she had to go take a test at school; they hadn’t just stayed at the village awaiting her to return to restart their mission. This time they had kept on living and growing. Because she wasn’t there--and they likely thought she’d never return. 

Kagome couldn’t fault them for that, nor could she hold envious or jealous feelings towards them. If anything she was hurt; hurt that she had to even pause her life with them in the first place. That she had just pushed through trying to finish school. She was more or less forced to move on because the well wouldn’t work. Or rather try to keep living her life in her own era. Obviously that hadn’t worked. Nor did she want it to, for that matter. She had fought like hell and managed to get back there.

But it felt like there was so much time lost. There were three years between who they once were and who they were now. Were things still the same for her friends? Was she still family? Did they still see her as an important part of their group? Or was she pushing herself into a place where she no longer belonged? Like she had forced herself into doing back in her own era…

She became a broken puzzle piece--something that never quite fit but almost did. What was depressing about everything is that no one seemed to notice. Well, everyone but her mom. Sadly her mom couldn’t take the pain of the loneliness away. The feeling of being a misfit--not belonging without everyone else, knowing only made her feelings of isolation worse.

Were things still the same with Inuyasha? If she had stayed would she and Inuyasha--would they have a hut? Would they have children? Or at least a child? Would they have continued traveling? Would they have-- claws danced on her wrist and she locked eyes with amber hues of concern. She smiled softly and shook her head but took his hand, firmly erasing the negative thoughts that had begun to consume her.

It wouldn’t have been the first time she allowed that to happen. The separation had been hard on her. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually… even physically. Seeing that they had moved on made her happy. It meant they didn’t go through what she did--not really.

But Inuyasha seemed to be able to show her it was possible he left his life open to her with just the single press of his hand. It was funny how they were always so bad at communicating, yet somehow, one look and touch, she knew exactly what he was saying. Or at least she hoped. 

“So Kagome, do you intend to stay here with us tonight? Or will you be traveling back to your time?” Miroku asked as he bounced his son on his lap.

“Huh? Oh… Uhm. Well--the thing is--ah…” Why was she so nervous? Was she already having doubts about where she belonged?? No. _This_ was her home. They were her friends--they just spent all day with her for goodness sakes! They could have very well allowed her to walk about the village all on her own but they escorted her the whole way. Why was she being so insecure about all of that?! “I think it was a one-way trip.”

Gasps filled the hut and all went silent. Well… that was awkward. She began nibbling at her bottom lip when Inuyasha pulled her chin to face him directly. He gazed at her in disbelief and awe.

“You really mean it Kagome?!!” Shippo shouted from in front of her, gaining her attention and stealing whatever words Inuyasha was about to say as he dropped her chin much to her disappointment.

“It’s--something I’m not going to test, actually.”

  
  


“Kagome--that’s wonderful!” Sango cheered standing and hugging her tightly.

“We have all missed you, Kagome,” Miroku said fondly. “Some more than others,” his voice dipped as it laced itself with playfulness leading to the smirk she saw adorning his face.

“Ye are more than welcome to sleep here child, or there is a spare hut ye can more than happily claim at the edge of the village until we can have one fashioned for ye,” Kaede suggested

“Really?” Kagome said in wonderment. They were really--that excited and happy to have her back?

“You’re also more than welcome to join us--we have a large hut and a spare room currently,” Sango offered.

“Th-thank you. I’ll take some time this evening to decide,” she mumbled. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel so out of place? It was just like--no. She belonged HERE. That’s why she came back. 

“Kagome,” Inuyasha said. She looked into his imploring eyes and nodded at the unspoken question.

“We’re going to take a walk,” she informed everyone; said information earned them smirks and giggles. Kagome blushed but rolled her eyes as she took Inuyasha's hand while they left the hut together.

They walked in companionable silence until they reached their ultimate destination--the sacred tree. Everything always led back to there. It was where they first met, where she released him from his imprisonment, where he got his kotodama, where she had seen him with Kikyo and thought there was no room in his life or heart for her, where she realized she loved him, where he refused to abandon her even when she was possessed, where he told her he needed her by her side, where they spent long lazy afternoons… This place meant everything to them. 

She idly ran her hand against the trunk and hummed happily from the sensation. It was thicker and healthier than the one that stood in her time. But it was like she could still feel where her family was--and the ultimate realization she was there--with _him_.

Turning back, she looked into his beautiful golden eyes that lit up her heart. She had been so afraid she’d never see them again but here she was, standing before him, the sky pink, purple, and orange from the sunset, the brisk cool air of night flowing around them.

And she had no idea what to say. She had rehearsed everything so long--when the well would finally open and she’d be able to tell him exactly how she felt, what she wanted, how she would put it all on the line for him--but standing there in that moment, she froze. Was it fear that stalled her? Uncertainty? Probably a little of both. 

Three years hadn’t necessarily aged her friends in a bad way--but it did give them families and new focuses. What if he had a new one as well? Doubt seemed to eat away at her for no real reason. But she was older than she was when she left; she had felt so secure right before time ripped them apart. Now… she questioned her place.

Not that she would have regretted coming back and not like she totally expected everything to be the same as when she left but… she just felt so far away from the girl she had been at fifteen.

“Inu--”

“You came back.”

“What?” The way his words brushed against her, the whisper of his words… They hurt her. Not like he had meant to hurt her, no. It pained her to hear the longing and desperation in his confession. His admission of her being in such close proximity he too, felt it was unreal.

"You're… really here. This isn't some weird convoluted dream I made up--I’m not dead---I--” It slightly comforted her he was just as at a loss for words as she was.

She stepped closer to him and released his hand; she really looked at him. How had she not even seen the differences when she had seen him in the golden rays of sunlight? Why just now, in the hues of red?

He looked older, more mature, softer… his face no longer wore a permanent scowl. It showed understanding, longing...love. Her heart skipped a beat and began beating erratically. She was nervous, happy--elated that she finally found somewhere to belong. Someone she could belong to. And of course she started crying. Because why wouldn’t she ruin the moment? She was a fool to think she could ever make something perfect--

His arms wrapped around her and pulled her to his chest. “Fuck--shit--what did I say?? Did I fuck this up??”

She let out a choked sob and clung to his arms, “N-No--I-I’m sc-screwing this u-up!”

“Not even possible. You’re here… You’re the one making this reality.”

Her legs gave out as she wept into his chest. She was so pathetic letting herself get so caught up in her head and self doubt that she was making this reunion a shit-show. Shockingly she had thought somehow he would have said something stupid and she would have had to be the one to brush it off and reassure him. But no. It was her. Three years obviously switched their roles; but would he honestly be okay with being the emotionally stable one?

He held her up without question or further comment until she was done. She hadn’t even noticed they were sitting on the larger roots of the tree until she lifted her head and saw their position.

"I'm sorry," she said sadly--embarrassed of her actions and display.

“Don’t be. I’d take your tears over your absence,” he whispered softly into her hair making her flinch. She knew how much he hated when she cried. 

“I--I missed you,” she started lamely. Missing him didn’t actually articulate half of how she felt. But she also didn’t want to scare him off. Maybe he’d want to take things slow… after all, they had only just kissed when she was ripped from him.

He had just lost Kikyo and yea, she knew she held a place within his heart but… but therein lied her insecurities. While she had returned, while she dreamt of that moment over and over--standing there in the moment, she was terrified to hear that she was just a replacement. Even though he never treated her as such, at least not that she saw, the anxiety still was deep within her heart.

Every fear, every dark thought she had about herself was festering and threatening to spew from her lips. Those three years broke her. She knew that they had both grown, obviously. But…did that mean everything would change? Or could they possibly pick up where they left off? 

But that also meant they had to ask, where did they leave everything. They shared a kiss. He swore to protect her with his life, not that he hadn’t already been doing that anyway but, where did that leave them?

Were they together? Would they court like a normal couple? Or would they… get married? 

“Kagome. I can’t--” He shifted so that he could look into her likely puffy eyes. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I… Fuck. I’m not good at this shit.”

“It’s okay…” She sighed. 

“No. Kagome-- I--I went to the well. Every three days. Just to see if there would be some fluke, to see if you had returned. I knew you were safe with your family. There were others who needed you; there were others that loved you. I made peace with you never returning. The fact you were safe and loved was enough for me. But you’re-- you’re back.”

“Yes. I’m back,” she confirmed.

“Do you know what--what that means?” His eyes were glazed over with an unrecognized emotion she had never seen. Not even with Kikyo.

“I--I--” She stuttered, unable to come up with words. “I--don’t?”

“No?” He rumbled.

“N-no. I--don’t want to say something that may be untrue. Or overthink anything. I--don’t want my hopes to be dashed,” she said as she realized she was unconsciously licking her lips in anticipation of his heated gaze.

“Yea, guess I deserve that,” he muttered, closing his eyes and exhaling. His forehead pressed to hers.

“No! No! This isn’t--damn--” Again, here she was ruining everything about this moment. She grabbed his cheeks and tried to get him to look at her.

“Kagome, I know I was a jerk. An asshole. I just--it’s hard for me to be honest about my feelings,” he admitted as he opened his beautiful golden eyes. “But I want to. For you.”

Her breath hitched and she probably was the same shade of his haori. Her heart raced rapidly in her chest as he pulled away slightly. She didn’t even stop the whine from the lost contact regardless that she was still within his arms in his lap. “Inuyasha--”

“Kagome, I never, I couldn’t stop thinking about ya. Yea, I was kinda emotionally stunted when we traveled together. But I had just literally got my heart trampled on--when even then I was willing to give up half of myself to be with the other person. Yea, it was all deceit and fuck--I don’t know what would have happened if it had come to pass and I used the jewel to become human; who knows if it would have actually worked or not. But I do know, as shitty as it sounds, that I’m kinda glad that’s not how it all played out. I--I’m grateful we met. I'm thankful you gave me a chance when I didn’t deserve one. That you loved me in spite of all that I am and do.”

“Inuyasha…”

“I know three years have passed. I know you came back, no way back home… And as selfish as it is, I really fucking hope it was to be with me. Yea, our friends are great and all but--I want you. All of you. Your time, your presence, your attention… everything.”

“E-Everything?” She echoed in awe.

“Only if that’s what you want… But for me, nothing has changed.”

“Nothing?” She couldn’t help but let the disappointment drip in her voice. 

“What I meant was--my feelings for you--they haven’t changed. You’re--fuck--I’m--why the fuck is this so hard?!” He growled in annoyance. She couldn’t help but sob lightly with laughter. He was the same at heart. He was still her gruff hanyou.

“Because it’s us. We always were bad at communicating. These three years… I can’t imagine what it was like for you. I know it’s so selfish of me to even say any of this--but I know how you felt. Or at least, I think anyway.”

“You are the least selfish person I know, Kagome. I’m probably the most self-centered out of our little ‘team’.”

“But you had reasons for that Inuyasha. I don’t. Not really. I just--the well--I didn’t appreciate what I had here until it was too late. You all are my family. And yes, I needed to go home and finish school for my family on the other side of the well. But--I just. I’m sorry,” she started crying again uncontrollably.

His arms wrapped tightly around her and tucked her head under his chin as he let out a soothing rumble from his chest that could have put her to sleep on the spot. But they had so much to talk about. So much she had to say still. 

“Don’t be fucking sorry. I’m the one who tried to keep you from that life and why you ended up having to stay here in the first place--”

She pulled away and cut him off placing a hand over his mouth, “--but I don’t regret that. Ever. Falling down the well, destroying the arrow, traveling with you… I--I was so happy I could be your first real friend. That I could bring others to you to trust; a person who made you realize you didn’t have to be alone.”

“You’re right. Inside the jewel--I realized you were the only reason I have friends, friends I can rely on and trust. Without you, I don’t know where I would have ended up. I don’t want to know. I just know--I just know I’m where I am meant to be. Kagome, you were born for me and I was born for you. Not Kikyo. No one else but you. I’m sorry I ever made you ever feel second to her. It was never--it wasn’t like that.

“She and I never trusted each other. The moment Menomaru possessed you--I knew it wasn’t you. But with Kikyo… I didn’t even think about how her scent didn’t match. I didn’t question why she had betrayed me. But you and I--I just knew. Same with Tsubaki. There was no doubt in my heart. Yea, I was fucking confused and hurt--but more at the fact they would use you like that.

“When she was brought back--I was confused. But I never had any intention of leaving your side. Well, until you saw us together and the look in your eyes… it broke me. I knew I couldn’t put you through that. It wasn’t fair to you to know that I wanted to protect Kikyo. That I still cared about her even though I… I really cared about you. 

“But you still put me first. I honestly can’t say I would have done the same because I’m a selfish bastard. I finally did and of course, it looks like it not only fucked me, but also broke you,” he added as he proceeded to wipe the tears from her cheeks. 

“I didn’t belong in that era anymore. Not when my heart was here--with you,” she admitted as she brushed her hand over his heart. He clasped it tightly and exhaled.

“You’ve always had mine--even before I knew it. And it will always be yours.”

She didn’t even try to stop herself from raising up and kissing him fiercely. He returned the pressure just as fervently and held her close. Their kisses remained chaste, but with clear intent of promises of love and commitment. When they finally parted they were breathless and smiling. He kissed the top of her forehead and tucked it back under his chin.

“So… you gonna tell me what you’ve been up to this whole time, stupid?” He asked cheekily.

“Shut up,” she laughed, feeling like a thousand kilos had been lifted from her.

“Keh, sounds about right. Nothing,” he smirked.

Rolling her eyes she lightly swatted him and he chuckled deeply. They continued their conversation of what they had been up to for the past three years, how they both coped with their loneliness, things they did to pass the time--then proceeded to plan their future. A hut they would build. Marriage. Mating. Everything.

“I--I want to court you. Like I should--and don’t fucking argue with me. It’s something I want. You don’t have to want it but it’s gonna happen. And then--then we can go to the headmen and marry us or whatever.”

“Tell me about Sango and Miroku’s wedding.”

“Not much to tell really. They did it with the celebration of Naraku being vanquished. Didn’t want the spotlight. They were just ready to be married and done.”

“I--do you think we can have something small?”

“Keh--not as the village priestess or protector.”

“It won’t be too much for you?”

“Fuck no. I just want to be married to you. If I had to kill my asshole brother to wed you, I’d do it.” His words caused her to giggle in response. 

“So…” She blushed, feeling slightly nervous at the idea of them maybe exploring more intimate things. Not that she wasn’t ready. But she wasn’t sure--

“What part of ‘I want to court you’ slipped out of your ding-bat head? Even if you wanted to--which I can tell you don’t at the moment-- I’d say no.”

“But--”

“Not yet. But we’ll get there because I’m going to prove to you I’m worthy of you.” Gods. His fiery burning golden eyes literally sent waves of heat through her.

“O-Ok,” she agreed without a fight. It was probably wise they dated before they actually mated. It was a ‘forever’ kind of thing. Not a ‘oh yea, let’s have sex and then go our separate ways’ proposition. Not that she had any doubts about being with him forever. She left her childhood home, her family, her school friends she had grown up with to be here. With him. If he wanted to ‘prove’ to her he was what she was looking for, she’d let him until he was confident they were ready.

They ended their evening with another passion filled kiss under their favorite tree and walked back to Kaede’s hand in hand. They’d tell the others in the morning. Until then, they relish in their time they had together again.

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week since Kagome returned--what does Inuyasha have planned for her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke this chapter into two part since the first part was shorter... but--if it makes you happy th second part like 50% done now?
> 
> Some people be triggered by the description of a panic attack so be warned

It had been a week since Kagome returned to the Feudal Era. It was the best week but also the oddest. Most awkward of all  _ their _ time together. It was like they were getting to know each other all over again. It wasn’t strained by opposition or frustration but it also wasn’t blissful and easy. It was a new challenge--a new adventure for them. One they both seemed to welcome.

The night they returned to the village after their talk, everything seemed peaceful. She had gotten ready for bed, borrowed a sleeping yukata from Sango, and laid down in Kaede’s hut. Inuyasha had sat down at her side as she laid down on the floor with a borrowed blanket and she had fallen asleep easily enough with a smile. Then the dreams started. Honestly, she wasn’t surprised; they hadn’t ceased the entire time she had been in her era and even there, she had a nightlight. Something to chase the overwhelming darkness away… But even with him by her side, the images of the jewel and being locked in a pitch black void overtook her in more ways than one. The evil laughter filled her mind. She could only wail and sob out of fear because Inuyasha didn’t come for her in her dreams… She was always alone.

Screaming, Inuyasha had awoken her. She was originally embarrassed by the display she'd likely shown him--let alone Kaede and Rin. They were concerned and shot her looks of pity before she clung to Inuyasha, trembling, trying to calm her warring emotions and her frantic breathing. He took her outside though, carrying her with her sheet still adorned, where the moon brightly engulfed the land. He thankfully didn't ask any questions; he just took them back to the Sacred Tree. There, he emitted a soft purr, like the one he had done earlier when she had cried in his arms. Then there she was again, unable to really speak, unable to do much more than shake and count to five as she took breaths in and out. But he remained steadfast in his rumble, and it eventually lulled her back to sleep in his crimson hold, where she knew she was warm, safe, and finally calm.

The next day they decided she would stay in the spare hut--just so she wouldn't wake anyone else or risk causing a panic like she had the night before. Apparently after she had left, Shippo had been sent over to check to make sure everything was alright. She begrudgingly admitted to the dreams that plagued her being every night for the past three years to Inuyasha when they moved her stuff to the new hut while Miroku and Sango were busy with their children. Shockingly enough, he hadn’t seemed surprised and he vowed he would always be by her side--especially when night fell. So far, he hadn’t broken his word. Every night when they began to haunt her, when she would cry, writhe, and scream, he was right there pulling her close and rumbling a sweet purr deep from his chest. In the morning, her hand was still gripping his tightly and he didn’t let go until she did.

He had informed her when they started organizing the few things she had in her new hut and making a list for things she still needed, that he had been demon-slaying with Miroku and Sango. Miroku had saved his half of the earnings until Kagome returned, or until he claimed it. Whichever had come first. Money he would use for whatever she needed. But that would mean he may be called away at a moment’s notice and be gone for multiple nights. Sighing unsteadily, she nodded and relayed that she understood. They hadn’t discussed the matter since it seemed as though it was a tough subject to swallow.

As Kagome sat outside with Sango in a borrowed blue yukata with green swirls, she watched as Miroku and Inuyasha played with the twin girls and Shippo. She still felt slightly out of place, but not as bad as her first couple of days. After establishing a better routine, she fell into step with things a bit better but it was still an adjustment.

In the mornings she would rise early and meet with Kaede as they discussed when they would begin her training. She would quiz Kagome to see where she was with how much she remembered and how much she would still need to learn. They would eat breakfast with Inuyasha when he returned with fresh meat. Once they finished, he would go on his patrol in the forest as she and the old priestess reviewed different herbs and their uses, starting her actual training. 

Inuyasha would return after enough time for her to have learned five different herbs and they often would go for a stroll around the village until they made it to Sango and Miroku’s to check-in. Shippo had reluctantly been staying with them, offering Inuyasha alone time with her. That afternoon, Sango had begun teasing and poking her for information about their budding relationship once the boys were out of earshot.

“So… How’s it going??”

“S-Sango!” Kagome blushed.

“What?? He’s the happiest I’ve seen him since you were taken from us! I assume, since he stays with you nightly, it’s going well,” Sango winked.

“Oh my--Sango! When you did--Gods!”

“Oh Kagome, I’ve had three children with Miroku. Nothing is sacred anymore,” she laughed merrily. 

“Things aren’t--aren’t like that yet.”

“Oh?? Really? What’s the hold-up?”

“He wanted to court me first.”

“So… that explains why he wanted to speak with Miroku the day after you got back, while you were eating with Kaede.”

“He did??”

“Mhm, he wanted to know the ‘non-perverted’ things he did for me.”

“...When did you and Miroku marry?”

Sango looked at her and smiled, placing a hand in hers on her lap. 

“Well, it wasn’t too long after we defeated Naraku. We kind of just did a small ceremony once Inuyasha returned from saving you. Once it was done, we had to wait to do _ other  _ things until our hut was constructed. We all originally stayed with Kaede and Rin.”

“Di-Did Miroku actually court you?” 

“Oh yea, well obviously he built us the house but he wanted to show while we hadn’t met in normal circumstances and even though I agreed to be his wife, he still wanted to prove to me he could be a good husband.

“He and I would take walks during the day together so we could be alone. He often surprised me with a picnic or flowers. Inuyasha always provided dinner, but they also started taking jobs to exterminate demons. Originally I went with them but… After our hut was built and we consummated our marriage, Inuyasha knew immediately I was pregnant. So I stepped back. Not without a fight, though. At first, I was angry they even insinuated I should stay behind! 

“That I was weak enough to let any harm befall my child! But… After everything that had happened with us over the past year, jewel shards or not, their reasoning was not made out of sexism or biased opinions. It was out of genuine concern. Even though I was born to fight, trained from a young age to become the head of the demon slayer village, I still couldn’t push myself. 

“It wasn’t just  _ my _ life on the line anymore. While I took the oath to slay the demon for the people or die by the claw… It wasn’t just my life anymore. It was mine and my child’s. 

“While I was upset, the hormones likely made me more sensitive. Inuyasha and Miroku returned a couple of days later. Inuyasha was a little worse for wear. Miroku was scraped up a little--it wasn’t the easiest extermination.

“I was thankful they had made me see reason--if I had lost our child--well later to be learned  _ children _ \-- I would have deeply regretted my stubbornness. I would have never been able to look Miroku in the eyes again for my selfish behavior. It was hard for me to accept this role as a wife and mother but--when I haven’t been pregnant, I still train. Inuyasha will still spar with me. Our village has been attacked a couple of times, and I was still able to defend our girls. I’ve even gone a couple of times before I was pregnant with Hisui if they were shorter trips with Inuyasha while Miroku stayed with Kin'u and Gyokuto.

“Miroku has never once expected me to become the docile wife most men of this time expect or want. He still gives me a say and voice, something of which I’m eternally grateful for. While he didn’t buy me things or obviously ask permission of my father or brother he--his way of actually courting me was perfect.”

Kagome looked at her love-struck friend. She saw her best friend’s eyes follow her husband who was ‘looking’ for the twins and their hiding spot deep within the tree with their half-dog-demon uncle. She always knew Sango held great affection for Miroku and vice versa, and never even thought of them courting after everything was over.

Was that silly to think over their year of travels that she just assumed after their adventures and life-threatening situations, nights spent in the inns together, hot spring outings, dinners, lunches, and breakfasts would have been enough? 

Honestly she thought it was; that was why she felt so odd about Inuyasha wanting to court her. Her eyes found his amber orbs staring back at her. His ears twitched and she couldn’t stop the smile that started to form on her lips. Did he consider this courting? Them spending time with their friends?

Because to her, it was perfect. 

She was like Sango; she didn’t desire things or possessions. All she wanted with the love and affection of her beloved hanyou. Which he had more than happily already given. 

During the night, she heard his soothing rumble when she stirred. Sometimes she felt his claws brushing through her hair. She never knew she would ever see that side to Inuyasha. It hurt to think about maybe that was how he was with Kikyo. But that was the thing--Kaede and Sango mentioned he, at least not that they had seen, had never been like this with anyone since she left or even when Kikyo was alive.

Kikyo never held that much trust in Inuyasha. He frequented the outskirts of the village; but he never entered it. She remembered their first encounter with her, when she kissed him and embraced him--claiming she wished she had done so when she was alive. He had held her gently and lovingly after the moment of shock passed. Nothing had ever happened with them before that. Even though it made her stomach churn and she felt uneasy, she almost wanted to ask about their relationship before Naraku tricked them. 

Inuyasha had offered to be open and honest, after all. He wanted her to have the full experience… That was why he wanted to wait before they officially mated. Her face lit up at the thought.  _ Mated. _

That was--the demon terminology for…

“Kagome? You ok?? You look rather flushed,” Sango interrupted her thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, I’m fine. J-just--uh--”

“Ohhhh… So you are thinking about  _ those  _ things. So Inuyasha really is taking the courting thing seriously.”

“Did you and Miroku--uh--”

“We did, uhm,  _ other _ things. But we waited until our hut was completed, and even then I was nervous. Demons typically don’t--well they can’t just do part and not all. Their instincts don’t work that way. They are either trying to reproduce, or they are committing to their life mate. Once the courting has been accepted, they typically take the final step.”

“Oh Gods,” she whispered covering her face.

“It’ll be fine. Inuyasha isn’t going to push you until you're ready.”

“That’s what he said--but I don’t--I don’t want to make him wait.”

“Kagome, you know demons… well they don’t think about it the same way as humans do. They have more than enough time to wait.”

“Yes. He mentioned that. But he’s still half-human.”

“True. But his demon half likely is ruling in that department right now. Tell me, how has the first week been for you two? Kaede mentioned you were having some nightmares?”

“Yes… Inuyasha has been helpful in soothing them. He also even brought home tea leaves the other evening to see if that would help.”

“What else has he been doing?”

“Well, we’ve been taking walks around the village, seeing you guys, he’s been taking me to the edge of the village to overlook the rice fields to see the sunset some nights. He brings dinner home… Uhm…”

“He sounds really invested. I’m glad he’s actually doing this for you.”

“Why though? I--I didn't think he had to.”

“It’s probably his honor that demands it. While I know you said your life went on, even though you felt it pause, it didn’t here. Even though time passed, he always seemed determined about something. He spent a lot of time alone during the day if there wasn’t an extermination calling us away before the twins came. Then once they were born, he spent time with them. 

“But even then, there was just this heavy sense of longing he would display. Kaede told us that he would talk to her sometimes about how he felt. We never pushed him to--we didn’t want him to think he didn’t have a safe space to be, to not be reminded of you if he didn’t want that.

“But Kaede said that he confided in her that if he could do it all over, he would have been more honest. Maybe trusted you earlier. He mentioned he tried to kiss you when Kikyo’s ashes were stolen but Kikyo being resurrected threw in an unexpected trial for him. He tried to put up a wall between you both--but couldn’t. He said he would have told you how he felt if he could have seen past the guilt. 

“Thankfully Kaede told him hindsight is always clearer. And now he has that opportunity to try it all again.”

“The first night I was here, he took me to the Sacred Tree and we talked. He admitted some of that stuff to me,” Kagome explained.

“Then let him Kagome--let him court you, let him confide in you. What harm will it do? He wants to earn you and show you he can be a good husband and mate.”

_ He may realize I’m not that same girl anymore and decide he doesn’t want to be with me… _

It wasn’t long before the game of hide-and-seek was over and Miroku offered to go wash the girls. Sango agreed to help him and they bid Inuyasha and her farewell then proceeded to walk toward their hut.

“Kagome?”

“Hm?”

“Do you wanna… go for a run around the village?”

“Did you smell a demon this morning in the forest?”

“No, but I figured you might enjoy it.” 

She stopped and smiled at him. Nodding excitedly as he knelt down, she climbed onto his back and then they were off! He carried her on his back as they flew through the trees. Just like old times. She snuggled deeply into his back and wrapped her arms tightly over shoulders laughing all the while. Happiness. Unrelenting happiness. Freedom; feelings that escaped her for so long, she had never been sure she would ever be able to know how they felt again. Her fears and worries disappeared instantly. When she was right there, on his back, his hands holding her thighs tightly, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, everything just felt so right. 

He circled around after a while and then landed in a patch of the forest near the Sacred Tree. She could see it towering over the others in the little clearing they were standing in. He knelt down and encouraged her to dismount. Confused, she did as she was silently told and looked around.

“Where are we?”

“This--Uh--This is where we should build our hut,” he stuttered, embarrassed.

“What???” She turned to him, her eyes wide like saucers and lips parted in shock. 

“I--I wanted to make sure it was within a short walking distance to here, since you said it brings you peace...and even the well. Just in case you ever want to go and visit like I do-- Well-- uh… Tomorrow, there’s something else I want to show you,” he shared.

She tilted her head in confusion and he pulled her into an embrace. Happily, she wrapped her arms around him in return, pondering what it was he wanted to share with her while also trying to silently comfort him since whatever it was seemed daunting. What did he mean by somewhere she’d like to visit? Like he did? Was he referring to something that reminded him of his own family? His mother?

Trying to hide her scent of recognition, she pulled his forelocks down, placing her mouth upon his in a deep, thankful kiss for the kind-hearted gesture. She tried to convey her gratitude and thankfulness. She also… well… She wanted to make sure he knew how much he meant to her in general. Everything he had been doing for her--how much it truly meant to her.

He returned her kiss in equal fervor and held her close. His chest emitted the low and soothing rumble she longed to hear when he was away from her and she couldn't help but let her knees grow weak. Inuyasha didn’t even sway as he kept her hard pressed against him.

She wanted to kiss longer but he broke it off with a growl. Looking up into his amber eyes, she knew her eyes were glazed over with lust. Shaking it from herself, the look was replaced with confusion and she followed where his eyes were pointed to. Miroku was approaching quickly and looked somber.

“Inuyasha! We are needed in the next village over! Quickly!”

“Keh,” he scoffed as he released Kagome from his hold and nodded, sending Miroku back on his way. “I have to go. I’ll start preparing our home tomorrow after we go to the place I want to show you, though.”

“O-Oh…” She tried to not sound too disappointed.

He reached out and grabbed her chin and rubbed his cheek against her own before placing a delicate kiss upon it. “I’ll be back later, Kagome.”

“You promise?” She asked worriedly.

“Yes; go hang out with Sango for awhile. I’ll be back before nightfall. If you want to go back to our hut before then, I’ll meet you there.”

“Should I go with you??” She questioned. It had only been a week. Honestly, the best week of her entire life. They had spent nearly every moment together and his presence had settled so much of her worry, so many of her annoying anxieties and self doubts about herself. What if he left and came back, realizing how useless she was? Shouldn’t she go with him to prove she was powerful? Shouldn’t it be like old times, where they fought side by side??

“No, I doubt you’ll be needed. Miroku needs to earn his share of money anyway. I’ll get some and we can use it the next market day, alright?”

“But--”

“Kagome,” he sighed, taking her back in his arms. “I swear this isn’t goodbye. I will be back.”

“Inuyasha--” She was cut off by his purr, making her tremble. He knew she was upset. He knew she was anxious. He knew. But he wasn’t running--he was waiting until she let him go…

What if she didn’t want to?

What if she never could?

Would he really be alright with all of that?

“Kagome, I love you. Nothing’s gonna change that. You made me a better person. You’re the one who made me realize I should help people if I have the chance to. Let me do this for us?”

Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled away to look back into his eyes and saw pure adoration shining through them. She stood up on her toes and kissed him soundly then pulled back. “Go,” she whispered.

And then he was gone. She hadn’t even seen him take the leap as he did it within a blink of an eye. It was like he knew she’d call out to him if she saw him go or would try to follow him because he disappeared without a trace. He was right. Oh so right.

Sighing, she made her way back to her best friend’s hut, hoping she would want a dinner guest for the evening. 

  
  


Kagome rested on the futon Inuyasha had bought for them with the fire still going. She had changed into her sleeping yukata and was growing more and more uneasy as time went on. It was past sundown. Inuyasha was still gone. He never made it back. 

Was he alright? Did Miroku get injured? What about the villagers? Was the demon slayed? Should she go after them? What if he… no. He didn’t lie. But what if he realized this was too much? That  _ she _ was too much?

Endless questions circled her mind… Her body trembled as it was overwhelmed by her drowning thoughts. Tears pooled at her eyes at the thought her handsome half-demon wouldn’t return. What would she do? What could she do? Was it normal to be so dependent on someone?? Was it like this for him? No. It couldn’t be. He was so strong; he had made a name for himself over the three years she was gone. He was independent. She was useless.

She had nothing but a high-school diploma and anti-anxiety medication to show for herself. Neither were there and neither helped her in her current living conditions. 

Sobbing, she pulled the blanket up over her head and tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down. She tried to remind herself it was Inuyasha she was concerned about. How he always ended up on death’s door just to pull through at the last second to rub it in peoples’ faces for crying about it later.

It was only her who was weak. It was only her who had issues. She would have slowed them down. She could have gotten him killed. Damn, she shouldn’t have returned! Why was it she could never belong?? Why did she always feel so out of place? 

She barely heard the door mat sway over her ragged breathing and before she could lift the cloth from over her face she felt herself engulfed in her protector’s arms. 

“Inuyashaaaaaa!” She wailed, tugging the blanket off her face to wrap her arms around his neck to hold him close. Her face pressed hard into his sternum; her hands grazing and gripping his haori, trying to lessen any space between them. She needed to make sure he was there--that he was real.

“It’s alright now, Kagome. I’m back,” he soothed as he rubbed her back and purred softly.

“I-I’m sorry,” she stuttered as she started to hiccup from the overwhelming fear, sadness, and relief. 

“Shush, it’s ok. I know… I’m sorry I left. This is new; I-I was distracted the whole time. It’s why we fucked up and had to stay longer. I wanted to be near you. I needed to see you.”

“Don’t apologize for my shortcomings…” She said nuzzling into his neck.

“No. I get it, Kagome. I understand--it’s ok for you to cry. Yea, I fucking hate that you’re sad and there ain’t shit that I can do, but I can let you get this out. Get rid of all this toxic shit, all these worries, and all the doubt in your head that I wouldn’t come back for because that’s shit. We both know it. I crossed into the fucking netherworld to get you--I went into the jewel. I will always come for you.”

“Inuyasha,” she sighed as she allowed her tears to roll down her face as his rumble comforted her into a deep and peaceful sleep. For the first time in three years, she slept without nightmares, safe in the arms of the man who captured her heart and soul.

  
  


When she rose the next morning, she found herself still held tightly in the arms of her half-demon, but they were laying down on the futon together. That was something new. Not that he didn’t hold her--but never in bed before. He thought it was too intimate for courting.

Who knew Inuyasha was so noble? 

Then again, the way he rarely spoke of his mother and preferred to keep his memories of her secret… Obviously no one knew much. Well, except for him and Myouga.

She couldn’t help but stare into his sleeping face and become entranced by it… Had she ever seen him sleep so peacefully? Never when they were on their journey together. He was always the one to sit in the trees or stay slightly awake just in case. Even on his human nights, he never closed his eyes without a fight. 

There was only one time she could recall him resting so deeply and it had been in her bedroom while she was studying. He had fallen over on his side and slept in a ball. But he had been at peace. And she hadn’t been able to bring herself to disturb him, so she left him there to curl up at the foot of the bed.

Her hands had minds of their own as she ended up stroking his soft cheeks. His eyes slowly opened and his golden sunlit irises met her brown orbs. After a moment he smiled and kissed her forehead softly before letting her go.

“Mornin’,” he said huskily.

“M-Morning, Inuyasha,” she stuttered, turning a bright shade of red. 

“You ready for our trip?”

“Uhm, yes, I just--I just need to get dressed.”

“Will you… wear your normal clothes?”

“You mean my--” Why would he want her to dress in her clothes from her old time?

“Yea. I mean--It’s just--ugh, can ya just wear ‘em?” He asked, making her smile at the gruff in his voice that lacked any form of heat.

He nuzzled her cheek and then rose leaving the hut to give her privacy. She went to the hutch he had bought her and pulled out her navy skirt and maroon top with pink sweater. Realization dawned on her; she knew what he meant by his words and their conversation from the evening before… 

They  _ were  _ going to meet his mother and he wanted her to be herself. Dress like herself. The thought caused tears to pool in her eyes and she swiftly wiped them away, leaving the hut to catch up to him.

He knelt down to offer her his back without a word and she took that for what it was--a silent invitation to join but to not question where they were going. But she already knew. He wasn’t a great secret keeper. Not recently anyway.

They rode in silence out to the west; they crossed rivers and valleys along the way to their destination. Finally they reached their destination around midday. It was beautiful, to say the least. A lovely lake sat at the bottom of the foothill where a cherry blossom tree loomed over some laid out stones. The tree itself wasn’t in bloom since it was the fall season, but she could only imagine what it looked like when it would grow its perfect flowers and the petals would fall and decorate the hill.

She hadn’t even realized he was staring at her with a soft smile until she turned back to see. Biting her lip, she smiled and looked away from the eyes that could consume her entire being. His hand brushed against hers and she took it and allowed him to lead her up the hill to the tree. They looked down at the grave marker and the rough drawn kanji on the oval stone read ‘Hahaue’…  _ Mother… _

Her knees gave up and she knelt beside the marker. The emotions and incoherent thoughts that swirled around rapidly in her head overthrew her. She knew this was where he was bringing her but--seeing and feeling the calming presence of the only other woman who loved Inuyasha for just the way he was--raising him--caring for him--it was--

He quickly was at her side and took her face in his. She shook her head in a silent gesture that she was alright and turned back to the grave before then pulling her face from his hands, replacing her hand back in his. Biting her lip, she reached out her hand and brushed the smooth stones, trying to convey her feelings of thankfulness and remorse and guilt and love and---

Exhaling shakily, she looked back at Inuyasha who was watching her with careful curiosity. It made her smile as she squeezed his hand. “Thank you… for bringing me here.”

“She would have loved you.”

“I hope so… I just hope--”

“Hope what?” 

“I hope I can be a good wife to you. One you deserve. When you ask me… that is,” she whispered. The wind that had been nonexistent in that moment picked up and blew her hair around until there was an eerie silence. Kagome looked around, feeling the unspoken but forceful presence of another. Turning her attention back to the grave before her, she couldn’t help but know who was present. Her hand tightened on his hand and she spoke again quietly, “If… you approve, Lady Izayoi. I--I love your son. More than anything. I’m so sorry I left him alone for so--so long. I hope you can forgive me. I never wanted him to be alone. I--I--

“I just want him to be happy. With me, or without me. But I-I hope you can--accept that I want to be with him. Even if it’s selfish and I’m not who I used to be, I think--I know I can try to--”

Inuyasha’s hand gripped hers and she turned back to him; his gaze was intense and she swore if he could melt her skin it would have slid right off her body. She couldn’t help the blush that appeared on her face as he tucked her stray hair behind her ear, not bothering to wipe the tears that dropped from her eyes. 

“She does, you know,” he said huskily before he pulled her into a deep and promising kiss much like the one they shared her first night back, but more heat and want was present. His tongue brushed against her lip and she happily granted him entrance into her mouth. He stroked just behind her teeth then coaxed her own tongue to dance with his, following it back into his own mouth. Tentatively, she stroked her tongue against his fangs and shivered from where her detailed not-so-innocent thoughts took her. His kiss filled in the blanks--his mom-- she did approve of her. Or at least in Inuyasha’s mind, she did.

He pulled away and she whimpered in disappointment as he pressed his forehead to hers. She counted her blessings; he was just as breathless as her as he panted, his breath caressing her lips. Swallowing roughly so it didn’t seem obvious when she took a deep breath to inhale his stupidly perfect breath.

Kissing her forehead, he pulled her to sit beside him. “I came here more when you were gone. Probably once a moon. Maybe more… I just--I told her about you. I was… Keh. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not. Please don’t stop. Tell me.”

“Grrrrr,” he growled but sighed in defeat. “I--I didn’t pray or ask for anything after my mother had passed. Even when I met Kikyo and we…” He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes and she gave a reassuring smile even though she was still hesitant to hear. But she knew Kikyo was his past. Kikyo was the first person he allowed within ten feet of him. While she would always be his first love, Kagome knew she would always be his second chance. She would be his  _ choice _ . And that was enough. The anxiety in her heart swirled but, the night before--their morning--she could only try to hold that in solace for what he was going to confess.

“Whatever you wanna call what we did. It wasn’t really even courting. But even then--I didn’t ask my mother just because… I didn’t want to know if she’d be okay if I married Kikyo. I just didn’t want to be alone anymore and I cared for her. I thought one day, maybe, we would come here together…

“But obviously that didn’t happen and I--I’m glad it didn’t. I’m happy it’s you.”

“Inuyasha,” she said breathlessly. 

He finally turned fully back to her and placed one of her hands on his heart. Her protesting eyes watered as she gazed into his amber hues. “Kagome… All I wanted was for one person not to look at me with utter disgust. You’re--you’re more than I could have ever even asked for. For you to think you’re not worthy of me? It’s crazy… I know what’s like to imagine I didn’t come and find you. But fuck, I refused to give up. I would never have given up. You were born for me, and I was born for you. I know I swore I’d do this the honorable way… but--just being here with you, feeling something I’ve never felt before since my mother passed--be my wife? Kagome?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Runs away**


End file.
